KFP: The Hangover Part III
by Empressimperia
Summary: Interquel between Temple of Heroes and Abode of Snow. When Po and Tigress are given three days to locate a stolen cargo or Superintendent Wu will shut down the Jade Palace, a rainstorm strands the pair in a cemetery before they can complete their mission. Crane, Monkey and Mantis must enlist the help of the insane General Tsin to locate the cargo themselves before time runs out.
1. Prologue

**This fiction serves as an interquel between Temple of Heroes and Abode of Snow. It takes place a month after Su's arrival at the Jade Palace, and six months before Emperor Xian visits.**

* * *

It was a cloudless day when the Dragon Warrior made the mother of all screw ups.

* * *

Life was awesome.

Po now not only had one great dad, but two. His adoptive father, a goose called Mr. Ping. Owner of Dragon Warrior Noodles and Tofu. His birth father, a panda called Qiang. chief of a thriving village in the Shidao mountains. Both awesome.

Yep, life was great.

Except of course, for the monkey.

Po grumbled as he extricated his head from the bucket. Green paint trickled between his eyes and dripped off the tip of his nose. He glared up at the primate propped up above the kitchen door.

Monkey was laughing hysterically, as was the praying mantis, green tree viper and black necked crane sitting at the table. Only the bengal tiger not amused, glaring distastefully at the green wet mess on the floor.

"You're cleaning that up." Tigress said to Monkey.

"Whatever, it was totally worth it!" Monkey wiped tears from his eyes and jumped to the floor next to a green, black and white Po.

"I'm gonna kill you." Po said simply. "I am gonna kill you."

Monkey laughed even harder.

"The mop and bucket are in the cupboard down the corridor." Tigress said. Monkey apologized for the mess and left, still in hysterics.

"Po, I thought you and Monkey had finished your prank war." Viper said.

"Yeah, when Whiny-boy Wu's daughter came along and you thought Monkey had a crush on her." Mantis said.

"Yeah, well…" Po began.

"And you sent him a love letter and pretended it was from her…"

"Mantis…"

"And it nearly destroyed your friendship…"

"_Mantis…_"

"And it turned out that she liked you and not him and then she kissed you…"

"Wait, what?" Tigress blinked.

"MANTIS!" Po snapped. "Never. Mind. The. Details!"

Mantis snickered, and promptly got a smack from Viper.

"What do you mean she kissed you?" Tigress demanded.

"Long, long, long, long story!" Po replied quickly. "Look I gotta go."  
"To get cleaned up?" Viper assumed.

"That too. But first I gotta get payback!"

"Oh my word…" Crane covered his eyes with his wing as Po furiously stormed off, trailing paint as he went. "Where's the sound of sinister music indicating trouble ahead when you need it?"

* * *

"Where's the sound of ominous music indicating imminent failure when you need it?" Bian Zao moaned. He had been sitting on the top of the palace steps for the last ten minutes, with nothing to keep him occupied but ancient China's answer to the soda can.

He could see his father fifty steps down, dragging his latest weapon of mass failure behind him. Taotie had escaped prison for one week and already he was ready to go back behind bars.

Lame.

"Uh, hello?"

"Yeah?" Bian Zao was too busy wallowing in his dad's lame-ness to look at the person speaking.

"Can I help you?" The person asked.

"Only if you can make my dad less lame." Bian Zao replied dryly.

"Uh, I don't even know what 'lame' means."

Bian suddenly realized that he recognized the voice. He turned his head and found himself facing the new kid.

He had met the blue eyed panda girl known as Su nearly a month ago, the last time his dad had failed to destroy the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five. He'd lost count of the number of inventions Taotie had used, and the invention he'd used that day had been something along the lines of… the Gourd of Gory Germination.

Lame.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." Su replied. She was carrying two scrolls. "Uh, weren't you here with your daddy last month?"

"Yeah." Bian Zao sighed.

Su looked down at his father, who was fifteen steps from reaching the top. His heavy panting was now audible.

"Didn't he try to attack Po with rapid fire sunflower seeds?"

"Lame, I know."

"What's that he's got now?" Su asked.

"The Flamethrower of Fiery Satisfaction. To think he chose this over selling lame figures of himself at the Festival of Figurines again. You'd better stay inside for this one."

"Oh, okay." Su said. "Um, it was nice talking to you. Bye now."

"Bye."

Su walked off in the direction of the student barracks.

Two minutes later Taotie finally reached his son.

"Thank you… for waiting…" Taotie panted sarcastically.

"You're welcome." Bian Zao replied.

"Who was that… you were talking to… just now?"

"The new kid."

"Oh. Well, son! Here we go!"

Taotie lifted his new invention, which basically looked like a cuboid with a tube on the end and covered in pipes. It weighed a ton, and looked like it.

"Jerks of the Jade Palace, you will rue that day you crossed Taotie!" The warthog cried triumphantly, and marched straight for the Hall of Warriors… at a… very… slow… pace…

"I'll just let them know you're coming." Bian Zao sighed.

He went up to the front doors. To his very slight surprise, they were locked, and there was a faint unpleasant smell coming from the crack.

"Keep 'em busy son!" Taotie whispered. "I'll flank them from the side entrance!"

It took Taotie a full minute to disappear around the corner.

Lame.

Bian Zao rolled his eyes and knocked on the doors.

Seconds passed. There was a click as the doors were unlocked and opened. Bian Zao recoiled from the intense stench as Po emerged, a napkin covering his mouth and a clothes peg clamped on his nose.

"Oh. It's you again." Po's voice was muffled.

"What the heck is that smell?" Bian Zao nearly retched. "Smells like someone farted!"

"They did!" Po replied cheerfully. "I'm testing out a new prank. It's a stink bomb made out of my own farts!"

"Wow, that is so not lame." Bian Zao replied sarcastically. "And not gross."

"Where's your dad?" Po asked.

At that moment they heard Taotie shouting from inside the hall.

"Prepare to meet your fiery demise!" He declared. "At the hands of the Flamethrower of Fiery Satisfaction!"

"Po, didn't you say that the stink bomb was made from your own farts?" Bian Zao said dully.

"Yeah?" Po asked.

"Aren't farts flammable?"

"Yeah, like gunpowder." Po said. "Oh crud."

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!


	2. The Return of the Wu

Viper screamed and dropped her lipstick as a thunderous sound rocked the student barracks. Heart thudding, Viper turned toward her window and saw dark smoke billowing from the main building of the palace.

There was a high pitched shriek and Viper heard someone burst into her room.

"HOLY CRAP WHAT WAS THAT?!" Su screamed at the top of her lungs, the contents of a scroll trailing behind her.

"I-I think someone let the pressure on the rice cooker get too high!" Viper gasped.

"Oh man, Mr. Ping's gonna be mad!" Su whimpered, shaking like a leaf. Viper quickly slithered over and hugged the child.

"Oh, sweetie. I don't think it's Mr. Ping we'll need to worry about..."

* * *

As a blackened, shaking Taotie was led from what was left of the hall of warriors in chains, a bored Bian Zao at his side, all he could hear was the sound of someone being spanked over and over.

"YOU COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE, YOU IDIOT..." Shifu had been shouting his head off for the last two minutes as a soot covered Po cowered on his knees. He screwed his eyes tight and kept his face lowered to the ground, hearing every word and waiting for Shifu to finish. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WITH SUCH A STUPID AND CHILDISH PRANK?! WHAT IF SOMEONE LIT A CANDLE IN THERE? DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? NO, YOU NEVER THINK! WHAT DO YOU DO, USE UP ALL YOUR ENERGY ON YOUR BODY SO YOU HAVE NONE LEFT FOR YOUR MIND?"

There were several red marks on Po's butt from where Shifu had struck him with this staff.

"I-I'm sorry..." He whimpered.  
"OH YOU WILL BE SORRY! WHAT IF A SERVANT HAD BEEN IN THERE? WHAT IF SU HAD BEEN IN THERE! I WARNED YOU TIME AND TIME AGAIN THAT THIS PRANK WAR WILL GO TOO FAR BUT YOU NEVER LISTEN! AND WHAT ABOUT THE ARTIFACTS? GOD KNOWS WHAT DAMAGE HAS BEEN DONE! AND _YOU_!" Shifu turned his rage on Monkey, who had just stepped out of the hall with an empty bucket. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT TOO!"

"M-me?!" Monkey yelped. "What the hell did I do?!

"IF YOU HAD STOPPED PRANKING PO ALL THE TIME LIKE I TOLD YOU TO THIS PRANK WAR WOULDN'T HAVE CONTINUED. YOU ARE PARTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS, MONKEY AND YOU WILL BE PUNISHED!"

"Oh crap." Monkey mumbled.

"NOW GO TO YOUR ROOMS, BOTH OF YOU, AND I WILL DEAL WITH YOU LATER!"

Po and Monkey quickly did as they were told.

As soon as they were gone, Shifu quickly sat down on the ground and took deep breaths, just as Oogway always told him whenever he got as angry as this. By the time Tigress, Crane and Mantis emerged from the ruined hall, he was back to his usual self, albeit with a severe scowl.

"Well, what's the damage?" He demanded.

"It's not as bad as we feared." Tigress said. "The blast lasted less than a second. The metallic artifacts were mostly unharmed, but will need restoration. The Crossbow of All-Knowing and the fire staff will need their wooden parts replaced, though. And the paintings are more or less ruined."

"I will kill that panda." Shifu snarled.

"In Po's defense, Taotie's new weapon was not anticipated." Tigress said.

"But he still defiled the hall of warriors with his little stink bomb!" Shifu retorted. "And I will not stand around while he does stupid stunts like that!"

"What are you going to do?" Crane asked.

"Well for starters, I'm going to-"

"Master Shifu."

"What?!" Shifu snapped and spun round, startling the palace servant that had appeared at that moment.

"Gah!" Zeng leapt back. He hated it when Shifu did that. "Uh, it's Superintendent Wu. He wishes to speak with you."

"Perfect." Shifu muttered. That idiot of an antelope was the last thing he needed. Then he had an idea and grinned cruelly. "_Perfect._"

* * *

When Shifu stepped into Monkey's room, the primate quickly bowed and stammered apology after apology, but Shifu silenced him with a hand.

"As punishment for your disobedience, you will take all the damaged artifacts down to the village for repairs, and then clean up the hall of warriors. Zeng will be waiting for you with a mop and bucket outside the doors." Shifu said. "Now go."

"Yes, Master." Monkey quickly moved past Shifu and left.

Shifu continued down the corridor and entered Po's room. Po shrank on his bed as he waited for another deafening row. But fortunately Shifu had calmed down by then.

"Po, what you did not only caused severe damage to some of the oldest artifacts in China, but defiled the most sacred room in the Jade Palace."

"I know. I am so sorry!" Po said.

"Such actions require severe punishment." Shifu said. "And so I am forbidding you from attending the Festival of Figurines three days from now."

"Aw man!" Po threw his arms up in the air. He had been so looking forward to that day. But he didn't dare protest further.

"There will be more on top of that, but for now, something has come up. Superintendent Wu has requested a meeting and is waiting in Constable Hu's office down in the village. I want you to go in my place and find out what he wants."

"Okay." Po's heart sank. Just being in the room with that spoiled jerk was going to be a punishment in itself, as Shifu was obviously intending. "I'll go once I've cleaned up."

"If I'm needed, I will be meditating in the training hall, since the hall of warriors is no longer usable."

Po hung his head as Shifu turned to leave.

"Master Shifu?"

Shifu stopped in his tracks.

"Yes?"

"Does the chance that Wu will want to meet with you anyway count as needing you?"

Shifu's eyes narrowed. Of course Wu would still want to speak with him. He had asked for him in the first place.

"Fine. I will come with you. But you are to do most of the talking."

* * *

Down in Mr. Ping's noodle shop, Viper was undertaking a far more enjoyable task: treating Su to Mr. Ping's famous secret ingredient soup.

The sound of the explosion, which could have been heard all over the valley, had given the little girl such a terrible fright that she had rushed into Viper's room screaming. Once the child had calmed down enough Viper left her with Zeng and investigated the explosion. Fortunately no-one was hurt or killed, as Su had been afraid of the most, but god knew how much trouble Po was in. After she and the other members of the Five had made sure Bian Zao was okay and extricated a stunned Po and Taotie from the training hall, Tigress had told Viper to keep Su out of the way while they surveyed the damage, and until Shifu finished having one of the worst rages they had witnessed since that time Mantis had accidentally cut off the tip of his beard with a shuriken.

Viper had been more than up to the task. She loved children, and she especially loved Su. She was so much like Viper's youngest sister, with her shy disposition and determination to follow rules and do as she was told. Ever since Su had joined them at the Jade Palace for a few months to cure her clumsiness, Viper and Crane had covered the most of her training, Shifu instructing them that Su was not to learn any combat techniques. So for the past five months they had been teaching her to balance on short narrow stumps, and to perform actions such as pouring tea without spilling a drop, which required balance and precision. Su was so keen to improve herself, so keen to learn, and she was making excellent progress. She had especially taken a liking to the palace library, and whenever she wasn't training she was poring over a scroll. There was no telling how much Su had taken from all that knowledge.

"How's your noodles, sweetie?" Viper asked.

"Really nice." Su said as she finished the last of them. "What's the secret ingredient?"

"Don't know. Sorry." Viper replied. "Are you feeling alright, now?"

"Yeah." Su replied. "But it was pretty scary when the hall of warriors blew up."

"At least no-one was hurt." Viper said. "Is there anything else you'd like to eat?"

Su paused to think, and then turned to look in the direction of the menu board next to the kitchen door.

"Hey, how about the yellow thing between that guy's legs?"

Viper spat her tea out over the table top.

"W-what did you say?!"

"I'd like to try that guy's spring roll, please." Su said.

Flabbergasted, Viper followed Su's gaze... and stared as she saw a nearby pig customer scowling at the spring roll that had slipped from his chopsticks and fell on the chair seat between his legs. Viper's lip quivered as she fought not to laugh at what had just happened.

"Can I have one?" Su asked softly, giving Viper an odd look.

"N-not that one!" Viper said shakily. She grabbed napkin and wiped the table clean. "I'll go get one from Mr. Ping. Wait here, honey."

When she found Mr. Ping rolling out new noodles, he was chuckling to himself.

"Oh gods. You heard, didn't you?" Viper groaned.

"Bless her." Mr. Ping said. "When Po was her age, he would shock me silly with the things he said. Ahhh, so many memories..."

"Right, well, could I have a spring roll, another sweet tea, and another peach juice, please?"

"Coming right u- oh good afternoon, constable! The usual, I presume?"

Viper turned to find Constable Hu standing right behind her, looking worried.

"Not today, Mr. Ping. Just a few dozen little cakes." Hu said. "I say, you haven't seen your son or Master Shifu around, have you?

"No, I haven't." Mr. Ping planted large bag on the counter. "That will be twenty yuan."

Hu paid, took the bag, and turned to leave.

"Constable Hu, is something wrong?" Viper asked.

The elephant jumped, and the ground shook. Cups toppled over and Su cried out as her juice spilled.

"Master Viper!" Hu exclaimed. "I'm dreadfully sorry, I didn't notice you!"

"Is anything wrong?" Viper asked.

"N-no! I-" Hu took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but it's something I must speak with your master about in private. I asked for his presence an hour ago, and Superintendent Wu is getting impatient."

"Oh no..." Viper groaned. "Not him again!"

Hu was about to say more, when someone tapped him on the leg. They both looked down to see Su glaring indignantly up at the elephant.  
"Look what you did!" She pointed down to her lower body. There was a wet stain between her legs. Viper smelled peaches.

"Oh dear!" Mr. Ping looked under the counter. "I'm so sorry, I'm out of clean towels! I should have some upstairs."

"What is going on here?" They all heard a very welcome voice: Shifu and Po had just stepped into the restaurant. All the customers bowed respectfully before returning to their meals.

"Oh finally!" Hu wiped his forehead. "Where have you two been?"

"Sorry we took so long, Hu. We've had a little accident up at the- woah, Su! I knew the blast scared you, but-"

"It's peach juice, zip it!" Su retorted, blushing furiously.

"Viper, get her cleaned up. We'll just deal with the superintendent." Shifu said.

"He's back in my office, come right this way." Hu said.

* * *

Hu knocked on the door of his own office.

"What took you so long, fatty?!" Yelled a high pitched voice on the other side.

Hu sighed. Po and Shifu both took a deep breath, knowing that the next few minutes were going to be insufferable.

They entered the room and there was Superintendent Wu, standing at Hu's desk, looking like he was about to start throwing things.

Shifu gave Po a look. _Remember, this is step one of your punishment._

Po stepped forward.

"Hey there, Superintendent." Po said. "Sorry we-"

"Zip it! I don't got all day! I gotta mahjong game with the head of chief district! Got it, tubby?! Are you stupid, huh?! You wanna see my mad face?!""

Po grimaced as Wu continued to hurl abuse at him. It was the same every time he came along. He stayed silent at took it, until Wu shouted himself hoarse.

"You make me wait for days and days and I'm a busy man! You dare to keep me waiting, you black and white ball of lard?! You know what, I'm- I'm so mad that I'm just gonna let Hu tell you what's going on!"

"Oh great!" Po nearly yelled, but a quick glance at Shifu's scowl made him stay silent.

Hu's eyes were swimming with apology as he spoke. Wu stepped to the side and crossed his arms, sulking.

"As the Superintendent was supposed to tell you, we've got a bit of a situation." He said. "A few hours ago, a convoy transporting a very valuable cargo was ambushed in the bamboo forest. No-one was killed, thank heavens. But the cargo is missing."

"Yeah, everyone lived, big whoop!" Wu snapped. "But now millions in recovered treasure has been stolen!"

"Treasure?" Po asked. "No way! If we're going on a treasure hunt, that'll be awesome!"

"Well, we are _asking_..." Hu glanced at the still sulking Wu. "... you to track down and find the missing cargo before the brigands who stole it get too far."

"Where did this treasure come from?" Shifu asked.

"None of your beeswax, old man!"

Shifu's ears flattened, but he stayed silent.

"I'm a busy man, and I don't want to wait weeks to get this treasure back!" Wu continued. "Starting tomorrow, I'm giving you three days to find the cargo and bring it all back!"

"Wait, what?!" Shifu and Po said.

"But Superintendent, we'll need to set up a proper investigation, find clues, and there's the problem of transporting all the gold..."

"Look at this face!" Wu pointed at his contorted face. "Does it look mad?"

Shifu wanted to say 'actually it looks stupid'.

"Yes."

"No it doesn't, you old codger!" Wu snapped. "But if I don't get that cargo back in three and a half days from now, then it _will_ look mad and I will shut down the Jade Palace!"

Po gulped. Shifu glared at Wu, barely hiding his contempt.

"Come, Po." He said. "We have work to do."

They left the office and made their down the street, back towards Mr. Ping's noodle shop. Since Viper was closest, they would inform her of the situation first. Po was agitated and Shifu was deep in thought as they walked. If they couldn't complete this mission, they were done for, and so was the rest of the Valley of Peace once its only protectors were lost.

"Wait!"

Po and Shifu turned round. Hu briskly walked up to them.

"I am truly sorry about that." Hu said to Shifu. "Whenever he's agitated, he's even more... standoffish than usual."

"Standoffish?" Shifu bristled, still feeling the sting from Wu's 'old codger' comment. "That man is an embarrassment to the law enforcement!"

"I know, but he's my boss." Hu said. "Look, from what I hear, the other superiors are kicking up quite a fuss over this cargo. So please understand why we need it back so quickly."

"Of course, constable." Shifu said. "Now excuse us."

Inside the restaurant, most of the customers had left. Viper was at a table, sipping gently at some tea.

"Hey, Viper. Where's Su?" Po asked.

"Inside." Viper said. "The peach juice left a pretty big stain, so Su's hiding in your old room while Mr. Ping cleans her pants. What did the superintendent want?"

Once Po and Shifu had explained, she was astounded.

"Three and a half days to find and bring back five tons worth of treasure?!" She said. "This is the most outrageous thing he has demanded yet!"

"I know, but we have no choice." Shifu said. "Because of such a short deadline, I suspect that Wu will be staying in the valley for a while."

Cue groans from his two students.

"Since his last two visits both ended in a kidnapping..."

"Three guesses whose fault it was." Po muttered.

"I want you to serve as his guard." Shifu said to Viper. "Monkey, Crane and Mantis will stay in the palace to continue cleaning up the hall of warriors while Po tracks down and secures the missing cargo."

"What's Tigress gonna do?" Po asked.

"She's the best tracker in the team. She will go with you."

Po bit back a grin, but then his moment of happiness melted away when he remembered the moment she rushed to the hall of warriors and saw the damage... and grew that bloodthirsty look on her face.

"Panda, go ahead to the palace. I want you and Tigress to leave the moment you inform her of the situation."

Po nodded and left the restaurant.

"What are you going to do, Master Shifu?" Viper asked.

"Since you and Crane will be busy for the next few days, I will oversee Su's training." He neglected to mention that this would be the first time in years that he had overseen training with a child. In fact, he had been so busy with other affairs that he hadn't spoken much with the young girl. It would be interesting to see how she was progressing.

"Well, I'd better ask Mr. Ping for some supplies." Viper slithered off her stool.

"What for?"

"Have you ever seen Po on a mission when he's hungry?"

"Good point." Shifu said.

Viper slithered in the kitchen, where Mr. Ping was wringing out Su's pants.

"Mr. Ping, Po's going to be going on a trip for a few days. Could you prepare a small lunch?"

"Anyone for my boy!" Mr. Ping said delightedly. He called up the stairs. "Su, could you be a dear a fetch a bag from upstairs?"

"Okay!" Su called. Minutes later Su came down the stairs, a towel wrapped around her lower half. "Got it."

"Thank you dear." Mr. Ping wasn't really paying attention to her, having turned back to the counter to chop up some radishes.

"Um, I found this beneath the bed. What should I do with it?"

"Just fill it with two dumplings and a spring roll."

"Um, Mr. Ping..." Viper said.

"Won't they fall out?" Su asked.

"Oh no, I always make sure they are big enough to satisfy my boy!"

"Mr. Ping..." Viper said urgently.

"Now just look beneath the counter. You'll find the biggest dumplings and the biggest spring rolls you'll ever..."

"Mr. Ping!" Shifu snapped, startling all three of them.

"What?" Mr. Ping demanded. "I'm just asking her to fill it with two dumplings and a spring roll!"

"Mr. Ping, she's not talking about the bag." Viper said softly. She had gone bright red.

Mr. Ping turned round, and saw the massive pair of underpants Su was holding between her paws. She was looking at him strangely.

Mr. Ping's lower beak dropped as he figured it out.

He looked at Viper, her tail covering her mouth. He looked at Shifu, who was staring back in disbelief.

"Oops." Mr. Ping whispered.


	3. A Dark and Stormy Night

Mantis was in hysterics. He lay on his back on the floor, legs flailing as he roared with laughter, as a blushing Viper looked on.

"It's not funny!" Viper said furiously, casting burning glares at the snickering Monkey and Crane. "She's seven years old!"

"Two dumplings and a spring roll!" Mantis gasped as he continued to laugh. "Wait till Po and Tigress hear about this!"

"They're not here!" Viper snapped. "They've left for a mission, if you will shut up and let me explain..."

When Viper finished, the grins had vanished from their faces.

"Is Wu insane?" Crane exclaimed. "How in the hell-o are we going to find five tons of gold and bring it back here in three and a half days?!"

"It's outrageous, I know." Viper sighed. "But according to Constable Hu, there is something very important about the cargo, which is why they need it back as soon as possible."

"But why is Shifu only sending Po and Tigress to find it?" Monkey asked.

"I think the plan is to have two people track down the gold, and then the rest of us can help them transport it back. That much gold can't have gone far, even with an entire gang carrying it."

"You think a gang stole it?"

"No-one knows. Whoever was behind the ambush is definitely a pro. Anyway, until Po and Tigress find the cargo, you three have to clean up the training hall."

The three guys weren't happy about this, but one rattling hiss from a stern Viper silenced them, and they grudgingly made their way to the broom closet. Viper bid them a happy cleaning and left to meet with the superintendent.

"Since the mess is partly your fault, you can do the scrubbing." Crane muttered in Monkey's ear.

The once brilliant jade green hall of warriors was now a greyish black. Smoke still lingered in the air, and scorch marks covered the artifacts still in the room. To think that such a wondrous viridian work of art could transform into the interior of Mr. Ping's stove was unbelievable. The three boys sighed, and set to work. As Mantis began taking down the paintings, which so badly damaged that it was a miracle Shifu hadn't killed Po for it, Crane began collecting the damaged artifacts. Monkey dipped a scrub brush into a bucket of soapy water and set to work on the floor.

"How exactly did Po manage this, again?" Crane asked.

"With grit, spit, and a whole lot of flatulence." Monkey said. "Remember, those artifacts are to go straight down to the village."

"And while you're down there, could you get me two dumplings and a spring roll?" Mantis snickered. "I got some a few years ago and they were too small for my taste."

Before Crane could even begin to tell Mantis to shut up, the charred doors opened and in walked Master Shifu and Su. Su was holding a small bag.

"I beg your pardon?" Shifu asked with the warmth of a Himalayan glacier. Mantis gulped.

"I-I was just asking Crane to get some goods while he's in the village, Master." He said quickly.

"What, the goods your father gave you weren't good enough?" Shifu replied snidely. "I thought I told you not to speak so crudely while we have a child staying with us!"

Mantis hung his head, looking and feeling very small.

"Sorry, master."

"Get back to cleaning, and from now on keep your vulgar remarks to yourself." Shifu said. "Crane, where is Po?"

"Viper told us that he and Tigress have already left to find that cargo."

"Good, the sooner we find it the better." Shifu said.

Su was frowning a little, and looking down at the bag she was holding.

"But... I was supposed to give this to Mr. Po for his lunch." She said.

"You just have them." Shifu said with a wave of his hand. "You may return to your room for the day. Meet me in the training hall tomorrow."

Shifu excused himself and left, leaving Su to ponder over the bag. She didn't look or feel particularly hungry, and her mother always told her to never be greedy. Then she brightened and held the bag out to Mantis.

"Here!" She said sweetly. "Would you like this instead?"

"Sure." Having gone without breakfast because of Po's accident, Mantis gratefully accepted the bag. "I can have these when I meet my girlfriend Anming tonight. What's in it?"

"Two dumplings and a spring roll!" Su said. "Me and Shifu heard you saying that yours were too small. These are the biggest ones Mr. Ping had, so I hope they make you and missus Anming happy!"

Su saluted the silent Mantis politely and strolled out the hall. Holding the bag with both arms, Mantis looked up at Crane and Monkey. Both were biting down laughs.  
"Not... one... word." He spoke evenly.

"Can I just say something?" Monkey asked.

"As long as it doesn't have to do with what just occurred."

"Alright..." Monkey said. "After we're done here, can we come with you to your hometown?"

Mantis's antennae twitched.

"Tread carefully, bud, or you will never stand when using the bathroom again."

"No, not that!" Monkey said. "Your hometown's Ginko village, right? It's the first place Po and Tigress are going to look for the cargo. If we finish early, we can head to the village to join them while you go on your date."

"And that's if Shifu will let us." Crane added.

Mantis eyed Monkey and Crane as he placed the bag in the corner for the time being. He grabbed a broom and started sweeping.

"You promise to stay away from my date?" He asked.

"On my honor." Monkey replied. "While you're there, maybe you could ask Anming if she's heard anything."

"Yeah. The cargo was stolen pretty close to the town." Crane said. "Maybe she has an idea as to who did it..."

* * *

"General Tsin?" Viper spoke.

"Yes, that's what the soldier said." Hu said. "And once the rest of the convoy regained consciousness, they confirmed his story. They were transporting the cargo through the Bamboo Forest, planning to stop and rest in the Ginko Village for a few hours, when General Tsin singlehandedly ambushed them and knocked them all out with a few well placed gas bombs. When my men found them, the cargo was gone."

"I thought Tsin was in prison." Viper said. Her attention was momentarily diverted by a small crash. Three market stalls down, Wu had knocked over a large china bowl and was now yelling incoherently at the hapless stall owner. Viper hissed in disgust and turned back to Hu.

"Oh they released him a year or two ago for good behavior, and a few homemade vests." Hu said.

"Wait, what?"

"He was released for good behavior." Hu said.

"No, what was that you said about- no, forget it! Why would Tsin steal a cargo from the army that he himself used to lead?"

"That, I don't know." Hu said, shaking his head in displeasure at his own ignorance. "I tried asking the superintendent, but he... well, you know."

"I understand." Viper said. "Po and Tigress are actually beginning their search at the Ginko Village. Don't worry, I'm sure they will find the cargo in no time."

"I hope they do." Hu wiped his forehead. "I admit, I'm a little afraid of how all this will turn out, but all things considered... it could be a lot worse."

* * *

_Five hours later._

It was a dark and stormy night.

Not stormy, technically but the black clouds had opened up like buckets, and now thick cold liquid pellets were rapidly turning the ground of the Valley of Peace Cemetery in a muddy soup.

"Come on, Po. We're almost there..." Tigress's soft voice was nearly drowned out by the clattering rain.

Po winced with each step. Even with Tigress supporting him, his left ankle was agony. What was he thinking, trying to jump that ditch...

Tigress did her best to ignore the cold spreading down her arms, and she glowered at Po as they neared a small wooden door.

"You know I blame you for this, right?" She said.

"I know. I blame me too." Po replied shortly, his temper being stoked slightly by the constant pain in his ankle. "I should have done what you said and gone around it."

"No, I mean the whole thing." Tigress said, a little peeved herself. "You know how much Shifu cares about the palace artifacts. If you hadn't destroyed the hall of warriors, the rest of the team would be here on the mission with us, and not back at home trying to salvage as many relics as they can!"

"Here we go..." Po muttered under his breath. He had been waiting for Tigress to begin chastising him about his stupid stunt ever since the explosion. The rain continued to assault them, and water and mud soaked through his shoes and made them squelch.

"Seriously, Po. What were you thinking?!" She demanded. "A stink bomb is one thing, but using an explosive gas?! That was even more stupid than trying to cook rice in your stomach!"

"Hey, i wouldn't have needed to make a stink bomb if Monkey hadn't dumped paint of me!"

"You shouldn't have let him provoke you. _And you should know by now that natural gasses, especially gasses that come out of your rectum, are flammable!_"

Po glared back at her.

"I am _not_ having this conversation again!"

With her free paw Tigress pushed open the door of the large building that stood beside the cemetery, and dragged Po inside.

There was no light in the room whatsoever.

"Stay here." Tigress propped Po up against the wall and stepped further into the room. Five minutes later there was the scratch of a match, and a candle was lit, illuminating a square wooden table and several chairs.

Tigress brushed off the worst of the water dripping from her fur and helped Po over to one of the chairs. Seeing the panda suffering abated her anger somewhat, but she still frowned slightly.

"Here, prop your foot on this chair." Tigress carefully lifted Po's leg onto another chair. "Okay, let's survey the damage."

"Please be careful." Po whimpered as Tigress unwrapped Po's leg wrappings. She then carefully touched Po's ankle, remembering what Viper had taught her about diagnosing injuries. Soft fuzzy fur aside, she could feel torn ligaments.

"It's bad." She said.

"Broken?" Po turned pale.

"No, just sprained. But this will take weeks to heal."

"Aw man!" Po leaned back and let his head dangle over the back of the chair. "You're telling me I won't be able to get back at Monkey for weeks?!"  
"Grow a brain, Po! That's the least of our problems!" Tigress snapped. "Have you forgotten the reason why we're out here in the first place?"

Po lifted his head back up, remembering.

"Oh. Yeah. The treasure hunt. Haven't forgotten. Where are we?"

"You remember that old caretaker who turned out to be a necromancer?" Tigress said. She made her way to a set of cupboards and began rummaging through them. "I think he used to live here. Keep your foot on that chair."

"Tigress, I'm sorry." Po said. "I've probably doomed the mission, now."

"Not yet, you haven't." Tigress said. She rubbed her freezing arms as she searched, still soaking wet. Eventually she found what she was looking for and returned to Po's side with a roll of bandages.

"Hold still." She said, and began wrapping Po's foot. "Ginko village isn't too far from this place. When the rain stops, we'll make our way there and send a message back to the palace explaining our predicament. Then the rest of the team can come join us."

She finished wrapping Po's foot and began looking for more candles. She shivered and breathed on her paws.

"Tigress, are you okay?" Po asked.

Tigress nodded indifferently.

"I'm fine." She said.

"Tigress, you're soaked." Po said.

"So are you."

"You don't have two hundred pounds worth of fat keeping you warm."

"I said I'm fine." Tigress responded, a little annoyed. Po fell silent and tied up his leg wrappings over the bandage.

She raised her paws to blow on them again, and then she noticed the faint scars on the palm of her right paw. She paused, remembering the pain she had felt when that rope had sliced through her paws, inexplicably reviving the nerve endings she had deadened through the punching of ironwood trees. She thought back to that day in the Shidao Mountains, when Po had found her by a pond nursing her agonizing injury.

_"__Tigress, there's nothing wrong with other people looking out for you. It doesn't make you weak."_

Tigress sighed.

"Okay, I'm a little cold." She admitted.

Po smiled a little in understanding.

"I'm okay, here." He said. "Why don't you look around and see if there's anything dry we can put on."

Tigress picked up a candle.

"Are you sure you'll be alright on your own in the dark?" She asked.

Po pouted.

"I'm a grown man, Tigress." He replied.

"That's what they all say..." Tigress muttered as she found a door and disappeared into another room, taking the candle with her and leaving Po in darkness.

Po rested his elbows on the table her couldn't see.

One rainy night alone in an abandoned house next to a cemetery, alone with Master Tigress. Why did that feel like a good thing?


	4. The Next Rainy Day

Pain.

Grandmaster Shifu felt pain all over his body as he woke up. His head pounded. His joints ached. His throat pained. He felt utterly dehydrated.

Shifu sat up in his bed, and almost immediately started coughing. Why he was lying in a bed, he didn't know. He usually meditated the night away. Rubbing his temples, he blinked slowly at the mess before him.

Bottles and towels covered the bed sheet and floor. Most of the bottles were empty, and the towels looked damp. Those bottles that weren't empty had spilled a pale yellow substance on the floor, and there were puddles all over the place.

Shifu winced as his head continued to pound like a drum. He tried to think back to the events that led to this, but found that he couldn't. he couldn't remember anything.

"No..." He whispered. "Nononono... not again... Mantis, if this is your doing, I'll-"

He stopped. It couldn't have been Mantis's doing. He had left for his hometown the day before along with Monkey and Crane to assist Po and Tigress in their mission. He remembered allowing them to leave, and then coughing a little as he made his way to the training courtyard to tutor Su, Pong, Po's piglet student, and the bunny rabbit children in the art of balance. Everything after that was a blur.

But if it had indeed happened again, then Shifu needed to see what other damage had been done, and clean it up fast. What if Wu came to the palace to complain, and saw this mess?

Shifu winced as he climbed out of bed. He felt like hell. He stumbled past the mess of bottles and towels and stepped out his room, which was adjacent to the hall of warriors.

He sighed in relief. The hall of warriors was immaculate, though a little empty with the paintings gone and the artifacts taken away for restoration. Most of the wooden beams that held up the roof were still blackened, however, but only replacement with new beams would fix that. A team of builders had been arranged to arrive and fix it in three days time.

But if the rest of the building was clean, then why did Shifu feel so terrible? He coughed again, then winced as the action hurt his throat. Why was he so parched?

_Knock, knock, knock._

Shifu grabbed his head in agony.

_Knock, knock, knock._

"JUST COME IN!" He snapped.

The door opened, and in walked Zeng.

"Ah, you're awake, Master." Zeng said. "How are you feeling?"

Shifu proceeded to rattle off a list of the many aches and pains he was enduring. He coughed again.

"Zeng, what happened yesterday?" He asked irritably. He realized then that his voice sounded a lot hoarser than usual.

"Well, you came down with a cold all of a sudden while you were teaching the children." Zeng explained. "At first it was just a cough, but then it was so terrible I had to get the palace healer. The children had to be sent home in case they'd caught it."

That explained the coughing and fever.

"Zeng, I didn't get the other children sick, did I?" Shifu asked.

"The other servants visited the village earlier this morning. So far none of the children are sick."

"Good." Shifu muttered. "Why can't I remember anything?"

Zeng wrung his wrings nervously.

"You refused to go to bed, so the healer gave you a tonic to alleviate some of the symptoms."

"And?"

"Well, the key ingredient for said tonic was liquor."

Shifu's heart sank.

"Oh my god..." He groaned, remembering the empty bottles. "How bad was it?"

"You got quite tipsy, to put it lightly. You kept demanding more, so we mixed cold tea with some spices and gave it to you in bottles. Please don't hit me for this, but you were so drunk you didn't notice the difference."

"Did I do anything... out of character?" Shifu asked, dreading the answer.

Zeng shook his head hesitantly.

Scowling in pain and suspicion, Shifu was about to demand an honest answer when a horrible thought struck him.

"Oh god." He breathed. "Su. Zeng, please tell me Su wasn't there to see that." Her parents would be furious if they found out.

"I'm sorry, Master." Zeng stepped back when he saw Shifu's expression. "But since she's living here temporarily, there wasn't anything I could-"

Shifu rushed past Zeng and towards the doors. If it was still early in the morning, then Su would probably still be in the barracks. He had to apologize, to make sure his behavior hadn't influenced her in any way.

"Master, wait!" Zeng cried, but Shifu had already opened one of the doors and discovered the torrential rain outside. There was a massive ankle-deep puddle right outside the entrance, and Shifu hadn't noticed it until it was too late. His ears flattened against his sore skull as the puddle water soaked his shaolin wrapped and the fur beneath. "W-would you like an umbrella?" The goose servant asked.

Shifu silently nodded and gingerly stepped out of the puddle.

"And while you're at it, please go to Ginko Village and see what the situation is with Po and the Five. You will also need to inform them that Constable Hu suspects that General Tsin is the thief and is likely still in the area."

"Yes, sir." Zeng said.

* * *

_Knock knock!_

"Wuh-"

BAM!

Monkey fell back onto the mat, clutching his skull. There was a thud as Crane hit the ground in front of him. Both men moaned and rubbed their foreheads as the knocking repeated itself.

"Crane?" Monkey moaned as the pain slowly faded. "What the hell were you doing upside down?"

"I tried to tell innkeeper that I don't do perches!" Crane glowered up at the wooden bar that had been fixed on the wall above Monkey's mat. "Just because we're both birds doesn't mean we share the same sleeping patterns!"

_Knock, knock, knock_

"I'm comin', I'm coming!" Monkey called irritably. He got up and opened the door. The innkeeper, an asian macaw, bowed his head politely.

"Your morning alarm call, as you requested, Master Monkey." The innkeeper said. "Master Crane, I hope the perch was to your liking."

Crane grumbled a polite reply.

"Sure. Good."

"Innkeeper." Monkey said, because he did not know the macaw's name. "Has there been any word of the Dragon Warrior and Master Tigress?"

The macaw shook his head.

"I'm afraid that they never made it to the village last night. I do hope that nothing has gone wrong. Please do not forget to pay the bill at the desk on your way out." The innkeeper excused himself and disappeared.

Monkey and Crane looked at each other, worried.

"It's probably nothing." Monkey said, lying to himself. "Mantis said it was a day and a half trip by walking, and the three of us ran because it was raining so hard. We probably just got here too early."

Crane shook his head.

"No. There's too much as stake. Tigress would never let Po and herself take this long. Something's happened. We have to get Mantis and go look for them."

Monkey nodded. After they'd left the room and paid the innkeeper, they made their way through Ginko Village. The dark grey sky was still pouring buckets, turning the ground to mud. Monkey kept himself dry with an umbrella he'd brought from the jade palace, while Crane used his trusty large rice hat. Crane grumbled at the water dripping from the rim of his hat and in front of his face. With weather like this, flying would be hell. Anming's house was a single story yellow building decorated with pretty red flower pots. Monkey knocked on the door.

A minute passed. He knocked again. Another minute later the door opened, and Monkey and Crane looked down to see Mantis looking breathless.

"Hey guys! You're up early!" He panted.

"Mantis, we've got a problem." Monkey said, getting right to the point. "Po and Mantis never made it to the village. Come on, we've got to go find them!"

"Po and Tigress- wait- what?" Mantis stumbled with his words. Crane peered at the bug.

"Mantis, are you okay?"

"Sure I am!" Mantis replied.

"Buddy, you're sweating." Monkey added, eyes narrowed. "I didn't even know bugs could do that."

"Woah, this ain't sweat! It's just..." Mantis's shoulders slumped, defeated. "Okay, fine. Me and Anming were kind of in the middle of something when you-"

Suddenly a strained voice called out from within.

"Mantis, get back here! I can't hold this position much longer!"

Monkey blinked and his jaw dropped. Crane tilted his head to the side, half-hoping what he'd just heard would just fall out his ear and he'd forget it'd ever happened. Mantis turned bright red.

"Pardon me just a moment!" He said. With a chirp and a blur he zoomed back inside.

Monkey and Crane looked at each other.

"You don't think he'd..." Monkey trailed off.

"No. No way." Crane said. "She'd have eaten his head."

The pair waited outside in the pouring rain, waiting for Mantis to reemerge.

Inside, Mantis quickly returned to the kitchen to see Anming groaning under the strain of holding up a terrible weight.

"Mantis, hurry up!" She gasped.

"Coming!" Mantis quickly rushed to Anming's side and helped her push the precarious soup pot back onto the table. "Sorry, honey. I couldn't keep my buds waiting!"

Anming didn't answer, too busy flexing her sore limbs. She had been holding up that pot since Monkey had knocked on the door.

"Thanks." She eventually said. "If my legs shifted an inch there'd be soup all over the place."

"I guess that was my fault." Mantis rubbed the back of his neck. "I shouldn't have shook the table so much."

Anming laughed.

"Well what can you do, you bad boy?"

Mantis thought back to last night's 'battle' and grinned.

"Look, I gotta go. Po and Tigress never made it here last night, and I have to help find them."

"Oh yeah, you only have three days to find that cargo." Anming said. She gave Mantis a kiss. "Good luck, sweetie!"

"See you later, hon!" Mantis replied. He grabbed a ladle, took a scoop out the pot, and gulped it down as a quick breakfast. Then he rushed out the building as fast as he could, doing his best to ignore the looks on his friends' faces when he reunited with them.

"So, shall we get going?" He asked brightly.

They nodded, and that was when Mantis looked up and saw Zeng approaching them from the sky. Zeng touched down and bowed respectfully.

"Zeng!" Crane said. "I'm guessing Shifu sent you."

"Yes, Master Crane." Zeng said, a little winded from the journey. "He wants to know if you have found any leads."

"Well about that..." Monkey spoke nervously. When he finished explaining, Zeng wrung his wings, anxious.

"Oh dear. Grandmaster Shifu's not going to like this. Look, masters, there's something he wants me to tell you. Constable Hu has informed us that it is highly likely that General Tsin is the perpetrator of the theft of the gold, and may still be in the area. Grandmaster Shifu wants you to apprehend him and learn the whereabouts of the gold."

"General Tsin? You mean the paranoid crazy guy who thinks that everyone around him is 'pure evil'?" Mantis made the bunny ears gesture as he said this.

"That's the one." Zeng said.

"Thanks for the tip, Zeng. You should head back to the palace before your feathers get waterlogged." Monkey said, gesturing to the torrent around them.

"Yes, master." Zeng said, and took off back into the dull, pouring sky.

Mantis shrugged. He was standing in the protection of Monkey's umbrella, but he was ankle deep in a small puddle.

"So now what?" He asked.

"We search for Tsin." Monkey said simply.

"But what about Po and-"

"They probably got slowed down by the storm." Monkey said. "If we spend an hour or two searching the village, it will give them some more time to get here. Then if Tsin is around, we can capture him together."

Mantis scowled. A bad start to a mission was never good for his mood, even after achieving the art of patience.

"Yeah right! We're never that lucky! And even if Tsin is around, there's no way he would just walk around in broad-" Mantis froze. His jaw dropped.

"Mantis? Mantis, what is it?" Crane asked.

Mantis slowly pointed through the gap between his two comrades. They turned round. At the entrance to a certain Dragon's Leg's Tavern was a small wooden cart full of crudely made tunics, and folding up a large red one was an aged, cape wearing yak.

"You gotta be freakin' kidding me." Mantis muttered.

"Hang on, none of us have seen Tsin's face before." Crane said, unwilling to believe their luck. "How do we know it's not someone else?"

The Yak was about to place the folded tunic on the cart when he suddenly yanked the tunic away from the empty space in front of him.

"Hey! At ease, soldier!" The Yak barked in an unusual accent.

"Yep, that's him." Monkey said.


	5. General Tsin

Po woke up to the sound of falling rain. He could hear it spattering on the roof, loud enough to wake the dead. He sat up in the little bed he had found the night before, and felt his ankle. It still felt tender.

Po yawned and stretched. He'd slept like a rock despite the rain.

"Tigress?" He called when he realized she wasn't lying on the mat next to the bed. They'd found the bedroom with the help of candlelight, and due to his injury Po was allowed to sleep on the bed.

Tigress stepped through the bedroom door, holding several apples in her paws.

"I found a cart full of these by the house." She said. Po noticed that her fur and clothes were stained with droplets. "Don't worry, they're edible."

"Great! Breakfast!" Po climbed off the bed, taking care not to put to much weight on his ankle, and reached out to take some of the red fruit. "Tigress, you rock... hey, are you feeling okay?"

He'd suddenly noticed that Tigress's cheeks were a little flushed. Her eyes looked tired, as if she hadn't slept. It reminded him of that time his father, Mr. Ping contracted the goose flu.

"I'm okay, Po. Eat up, the sooner we finish the sooner we can- hey!"

Po had just placed his paw on Tigress's forehead. Her cheeks turned redder, and she nearly lost her grip on the apples.

"Hey, you're burning up!" Po exclaimed.

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"I'm not!"

"You are!"

"I'm no- oh for god's sake!" Tigress pushed Po's paw away. "Eat your apple so we can get out of here!"

She shoved an apple into Po's paws and sat down on the bed, about to eat hers. Po looked down at the apple. He looked up at Tigress's damp body and her reddened complexion. He set the apple down on the bedside table and crossed his arms.

"No."

Tigress twitched just as she was about to take the first bite.

"Excuse me?' She said.

"We're not going anywhere in this rain. You're sick."

"I am not!" Tigress retorted.

"You got sick from being in the rain, didn't you?" Po said. Tigress glared at him. Suddenly she coughed, and turned redder as acceptance set in.

"Fine. I don't feel so good, so what? We still have a mission-"

"Which neither of us is in any condition to complete!" Po said. He lifted up his injured ankle to remind her. Tigress looked away.

"Po, there's too much at stake. We can't let our ailments be a hindrance."

Po sighed deeply at her stubbornness. He sat down on the bed beside her.

"This is a first." He said. "You being the impulsive one and me being the rational one."

Tigress actually smiled a little. Po had indeed begun behaving much more sensibly since their time in Qiang's village. Just last week he'd actually performed a series of experiments using a leather sack and hot coals to determine the pros and cons of retrying his plan to cook rice in his stomach. Luckily Mantis and Viper had intervened before he'd performed his final test.

"Tigress, think about it. If we go out there, the cold will make you worse, and I'll just slow us down with this foot. Either way, we can't complete the mission ourselves."

"Then what the hell do we do?" Tigress exploded, shocking Po. He quickly recovered, then rubbed his chin as he thought.

"We wait." He finally said.

"Wait?" Tigress repeated bluntly.

"Yeah. We stay here and keep out of the rain. You'll get better, and I'll rest my ankle. When Viper and the others, realize we're missing, they'll have to take up the mission themselves and come find us. They know we're near Ginko Village, anyway."

Tigress looked at him, silent aside from a brief coughing fit. Her expression was neutral, a good sign that she was accepting this plan.

"Fine." She muttered in frustration. "But if they don't find us by tomorrow afternoon, we're leaving."

"Fine." Po said. "By the way, we should probably get you out of those wet clothes."

* * *

Soaked on the outside, feeling utterly horrible on the inside, Shifu folded the umbrella Zeng had given him and entered the student barracks. His legs were still wet from his dip in the puddle, and his mercifully dry ears were flat against his head. The Jade Palace threatened with closure. A cold. A never-ending rainstorm. Could things possibly get any worse?

"Ugh, stupid rain! Get a move on, big nose!"

Shifu's heart sank as his sensitive ears caught the sound of Superintendent Wu approaching. There were no prizes for guessing why he was here.

"We're almost there, sir." Shifu heard Master Viper say. Of course, she was serving as Wu's bodyguard. He wondered how much abuse she had taken this morning.

Coughing from his illness, Shifu quickly made his way to Su's room, intent on warning her to stay out of the way. He doubted his ability to hold himself back should Wu turn his verbal crap on her.

He heard footsteps, some very heavy, in the direction of the entrance.

_Hurry, Shifu, hurry-_

"There you are, old man!"

Shifu stopped dead, grimacing. Zeng had not yet returned with the mission's progress. He had nothing to give to Wu. He pulled a neutral face and turned around. This was going to suck.

"Superintendent." He said. Wu was storming down the corridor, followed by Hu and Viper. Hu had to hunch over and squeeze his shoulders in to fit in the space. Out of the three, only Wu was bone dry.

"I've been looking everywhere for you!" Wu said angrily. "Where's my cargo?"

Shifu had no choice but to calmly explain the current situation, that the head servant had not yet returned with the report. Needless to say, Wu wasn't happy.

"You're relying on servants to do your dirty work?" He sneered. "Why does that not surprise me?"

Shifu nearly reminded him of the constable behind the antelope.

"Superintendent, I can assure you that-"

"I don't want assurances, I want results! Or do you wanna see my mad face?!" Wu snapped. As he continued to rant about the consequences of seeing his mad face, Shifu heard a door open. Wu's ranting had reached Su's ears. She poked her head through the door, staring at the antelope with morbid fascination. Shifu suddenly realized that he'd never told Wu that a child was temporarily staying with them.

"And who is _that_?" Wu demanded when he noticed her.  
"That is Su, Superintendent." Shifu said. He saw Viper making a gesture with a tail, trying to silently tell Su to head back inside.

"And what is a kid doing here?" Wu said.

"This _is_ a kung fu academy, Superintendent." Shifu replied, wondering what this had to do with the situation with the stolen gold. But then again, Wu tended to overreact over the slightest things.

"I am the Superintendent, why wasn't I informed of this?" Wu yelled.

"And he's the leader of the valley, why are you being rude?" Su asked.

Wu fell silent. He stared at the girl, who looked back with pure innocence. Shifu coughed and rubbed at his aching head, worried over what Wu would do next.

"What did you say to me, kid?" Wu asked dangerously. Viper hissed sinisterly. No way was she going to let him yell at her like he yelled at everyone else.

"I just asked why you're being rude." Su replied. She didn't seem to realize the danger she had gotten herself into. "My daddy says you should never talk to people like that, because it can get you in trouble."

Hu gaped. Wu looked ready to explode.

"Superintendent, please forgive her!" Shifu said quickly. "She doesn't have much experience in dealing with authority figures."

"Shut up, old man!" Wu snapped. "How dare you speak without being spoken to, brat! Don't you know who I am?"

"Yes, I do!" Su replied, eyes wide as Wu's outburst startled her. "You're Superintendent Tushyface!"

Viper gasped. Wu's eyes bulged.

"Superintendent _what_?" He yelled.

"Superintendent Tushyface." Su replied. "That's your name, right?"

"Su!" Shifu scolded.

"What, it's his name, isn't it?" Su asked. Shifu realized that she wasn't joking. He quickly spoke again before Wu could blow like a volcano.

"No, it's not!" Shifu said. "Who told you that?"

"I heard Mister Mantis call him that during training!" Su said. She had gone pale with terror as it dawned on her what she had done. "At least, I think that's what he said..."

"LUNCH TIME!" Hu yelled at the top of his lungs. "Why don't we go to that nice restaurant at the edge of the village? My treat!"

"Great idea!" Viper said loudly. "I'll get the umbrellas!"

Wu spun around to glare at the pair of them.

"Ex_cuse_ me, I'll decide where we're going for lunch!" He said. When he turned back to yell at the girl for disrespecting him, she and Shifu had vanished.

* * *

"This will never work." Crane muttered.

"It will, so shut up." Monkey replied.

"Nope. We're too well known. It's not going to work."

"Sure it will. Tsin has never seen our faces. He won't know it's us."

As Crane and Monkey continued to go back and forth, Mantis tapped his front appendage in a dull rhythm on the table top. The three had taken a table in the large restaurant, twenty feet away from a table on the far side where General Tsin was folding more handmade tunics. He seemed unaware that he was being watched by three pairs of eyes.

What's not gonna work?" Mantis eventually asked.

"There are two waiters in this restaurant." Monkey said. "I've been watching them these past ten minutes, and they always pass this table to get to the group of tables Tsin's sitting in. When the waiter passes us, we'll drug his meal."

"With what?" Mantis asked.

"Show him, Crane." Monkey said.

Crane sighed. He held up a chopstick that up until now had been concealed in his wing.

"The chopstick's dipped in a powerful drug that will make him appear drunk. All we have to do is take a chopstick from the dish as the waiter passes us then swap it with this one." Monkey said. "Once the drug kicks in we'll pretend to be friends of his then take him somewhere private."

"Wait, where did you get the drug?" Mantis asked.

"From the apothecary across the street." Crane said. "I still think this isn't going to work."

"Would you just shut up? Everything's going to be fine!" Monkey retorted. "Hey, here she comes! Mantis, take the chopstick!"

Being the fastest of the Five, Mantis accepted the task at once. He grabbed the chopstick and watched as the lady goat approached with a tray on which sat a steaming bowl. Monkey kept his eye on Mantis, held his breath. Crane glanced at Tsin nervously, but the muscled Yak continued to appear oblivious. The waiter reached their table. There was a barely visible green blur, and then the waiter had passed them.

"Done it." Mantis said.

"Good." Monkey said. "Now we wait. Don't stare, or he might get suspicious."

At that moment the second waiter brought their order, three mugs of Japanese sake. Crane took a sip, then immediately covered the mug with a handkerchief. Mantis rolled his eyes.

"Oh for crying out loud, when are you gonna let that go?" He complained. "I already vowed to never touch your drink again, didn't I?"

"Knock it off!" Monkey snapped. He risked a glance at General Tsin's table. The waiter had just set down his bowl, now recognizable as common noodles. To Monkey's disappointment Tsin picked up the spoon first. No matter. Once he'd consumed the soup, Tsin would still need the chopsticks to pick up the noodle strands. Two minutes passed, then Tsin stood up just as the waiter who served him passed.

"Soldier, where's the bathroom?"

"I beg your pardon?" The waiter had done a double take at what the yak had said.

"Where's the bathroom." Tsin repeated.

"The door's that way." The waiter pointed at the door at the far wall, his finger aimed above Monkey, Crane and Mantis's heads.

"Good work, colonel." Tsin walked off before the waiter could recover from his immense confusion. Tsin weaved through the tables, heading for Monkey and co's table.

"Act natural!" Monkey whispered, and the three immediately grabbed their drinks as Tsin neared their table. Crane took a sip then dabbed at his beak with the handkerchief. Mantis took too big a gulp for his tiny size and winced at the mild burning sensation in his throat. Monkey kept his eyes on his friends, even as Tsin brushed his shoulder as he passed them and continued on to the bathroom.

The trio relaxed. Tsin hadn't suspected a thing. All they needed to do now was wait for Tsin to return to his table and pick up his chopsticks. Five minutes later Tsin emerged from the bathroom and strolled around the tables towards his seat. He passed by the trio's table again, his arm very slightly touching Crane's tail feathers in the partly cramped room.

Then Crane choked on his sake as he felt something cold, thin and sharp press into the center of his back.

"Kuh!" He coughed. Monkey and Mantis knew at once that all was up, and began to rise from their seats.

"Strand down, boys, or I stick this needle into your friend's spine." Tsin snarled in his foreign drawl.

Crane didn't dare move an inch.

"I _told_ you so." He said stiffly.


	6. Pincushions

Monkey fought against his panic. Tsin was standing right behind Crane. To the other customers, it would appear as if he was merely speaking with the three guys at the table, not threatening them with death.

"General Tsin, what are you doing?" He demanded, hoping that if he played dumb Crane wouldn't get a needle through his neck.

"I might ask you the same thing, long tail!" Tsin replied coldly. "Why were you trying to drug me?"

"We did no such thing!" Mantis denied frantically. Crane said nothing, too afraid of the needle poking through the feathers on the back of his neck.

"Oh yeah? So those chopsticks covered _themselves_ with sedative? I knew that trick before any of you boys were born!"

"Uh..."

"Talk, or your feathered fiend of a friend becomes a black crested kebab!"

"Okay, okay!" Monkey held up his hands in defeat. "You win!"

"Talk. Now!"

"Look, we know you stole a motherload of gold from the authorities yesterday, and the superintendent has given us three days to find you and get it back! That's the truth, we swear!"

"Yeah, we swear!" Mantis added.

Tsin glowered at the three of them.

"That's all you want?" He asked softly. "The gold? Nothing in particular?"  
"Just the gold you stole." Monkey said.

"Nothing else? Are you telling the truth?"

"Yes! We're sorry we tried to drug you! Please, just let Crane go!"

Tsin slammed the needle into the tabletop beside Crane's dish so hard it stayed there when he let go. To their utter amazement, he no longer looked as hostile as he did ten seconds ago, in fact, he looked relieved, thought still slightly suspicious.

"Fine. You can have the gold. It's useless to me."

Crane's wing froze as he was rubbing his neck.

"Excuse me?" He spoke.

"If the gold's useless to you, then why did you steal it?!" Mantis looked equally astounded.

"Never you mind that." Tsin replied sternly. "You can have it back if you want it."

"R-Really?" Monkey asked nervously, sure there was a catch.

Tsin nodded slowly, but then he frowned.

"There is however... a small problem."

* * *

In a shadowy, cold, rain soaked alleyway, General Tsin opened a small wooden door.

"This is it." He said.

Tsin, Monkey, Crane and Mantis folded their umbrellas and stepped into a tiny room that hosted one dusty square table, a barrel full of deadly looking weapons, and a tattered mat.

"I've been hiding here since I caught wind of the cargo." Tsin explained as he pulled out a dull yellow map and spread it out on the table. "See this red line?" He pointed at a crimson curvy line that cut through the sketched forest on the map. "That's the route the transport was taking with the cargo. I ambushed them by the big rock."

"Are you gonna tell us why you stole it in the first place?" Crane asked. "You've never cared about money. Why would you steal the cargo?"

Tsin ignored him.

"You all seem smart enough to know that gold is heavy as hell. Get enough gold coins in a sack and it's like you've slung a boulder over your shoulder."

"So you couldn't have taken a couple of ton's worth very far." Monkey spoke, understanding at once. "So it's still in the area?"

"Correct. See this cross? That's the cave where I took the cargo."

The trio looked at the map. Judging from the cross's location on the map, the cave itself was only half an hour's walk.

"So all we have to do is go there, find the treasure, and inform the others so they can help bring it back to the Jade Palace." Monkey said. "So what's the problem?"

"That's why I decided to request your assistance." Tsin said. "Last night, I transported the last of the gold to that cave, and then returned to this room for the night. When I returned early this morning, the cave had become... occupied."

Mantis grimaced.

"Let me guess. Some bandits found the gold and decided to take it for themselves."

Tsin chuckled.

"You wish. No, t'was spirits that made the cave their own."

Monkey, Crane and Mantis looked at Tsin, sure he was joking.

"Spirits." Monkey repeated bluntly.

"Fox spirits." Tsin grunted. "Known trouble makers who can't go five minutes without causing mischief. They must have thought it'd be funny to keep me from retrieving the gold."

"Spirits." Crane repeated bluntly.

"That's what I said." Tsin said irritably. "Anyway, if you boys want this cargo back, you'll have to help me take down these troublemakers first."

"Spirits." Mantis repeated bluntly. "I'm sorry, but you're out of your mind."

Tsin put both hooves on the table and glared at the three of them.

"I can assure you that these spirits are as real as the stupid looks on your faces. Now do you want this gold back or not?"

They mumbled in agreement.

"I thought so. Now rest up. Those varmints only come out the cave after dark, so we have a bit of waitin' to do."

"Great." Mantis muttered.

"You wouldn't make a soldier with that attitude, son."

"You're crazy."

"I know."

* * *

Once she had Superintendent Wu and Constable Hu occupied with rice dishes in the kitchen, Viper quickly made her way to the room in the back of the barracks, the room where Shifu meditated during the night. When she entered, she found the grandmaster lying in a lotus position, taking deep breaths. He still looked under the weather. Viper took a deep breath herself and approached slowly, afraid of what mood he would be in after what had happened in the corridor.

"Where's Su, Master Shifu?"

"In the palace library." Shifu replied. He sounded calm, a good thing. "She should be safe there until the superintendent leaves."

"You weren't too hard on her, were you? She didn't mean any harm."

"No. I am aware that she did not mean to insult him. When I told her what she had done, she was quite embarrassed. She wanted to come back and apologize, but considering it's Wu we're dealing with..."

"Yeah, he's still furious about it." Viper nodded.

"I've told her that after Wu leaves, she is to go to the storeroom next to the servants' quarters and tidy up some of the smaller boxes. If Wu asks if we punished her later, just say we caned her or something. That should make him happy."

"Yes, master." Viper bowed her head. Then she let out a sharp, angry hiss. "I'm going to kill Mantis. We're lucky she didn't repeat what he _really_ said!"

Shifu coughed, stood up and turned to face her. He was also glowering.  
"I've told him before about using that language in her presence." He said. "I'm just glad she misheard it as something less crude."

"Yes. 'Tushyface.'" Viper uttered the word Su had used, then giggled a little. "I'm sorry master. But you have to admit, that was pretty funny."

"Indeed." Shifu did not look as amused. "Viper, return to the superintendent and make sure he continues to stay out of trouble."  
"Yes, Master." Viper bowed and slithered from the room.

Fifteen minutes later, Shifu's sensitive ears caught the sound of Wu's excessive complaining fading away as he and his entourage left. He waited a couple more minutes then stood up, picked up the umbrella in the corner, and walked out into the rain. He entered the main building of the Jade Palace and made his way to the library where the thousands of scrolls containing the history of kung fu were kept. As he neared the archway leading to the library, he heard a dull scraping sound, like wood rubbing against rock, then a thud like a heavy door slamming. When he reached the archway and entered the hexagon- shaped library, he found Su staring at one of the six walls curiously, holding an aged scroll he didn't recognize.

"Su."

Su gasped a little, startled. She turned around.

"Su, it's time."

"Yes, Master." Su said. "Um, should I just put this back where I-"

"Give it to me." Shifu said. "I don't remember this scroll belonging to the library."

"But-"

"Go and get that storeroom straightened, Su." Shifu said firmly.

Su hung her head.

"Yes, Master." She handed him the scroll.

"Take this umbrella. It's still pouring. I will check on your progress in an hour."

Shifu waited until Su had left the room before unrolling the scroll. It was so ancient he worried it would tear at the slightest tug. His eyebrows raised at the contents.

"What in the name..."

The scroll was almost entirely in Japanese, with a translation along one side, completely out of place in the Chinese library. It was a recipe for sake, of all things.

Wondering where in the world Su had found this, Shifu tucked the scroll into his sleeve and sat down on the floor. The library was quiet, the air still and calm, and after the fiasco with Wu, Shifu needed a break.

He closed his eyes, took deep slow breaths.

"Inner peace... Inner peace..."

Time passed. The floor was cold and hard beneath him, and thoughts of Wu's deadline and the embarrassment that still lingered from the earlier incident was making it difficult to concentrate. He was also still sore in the head.

"Inner... peace..."

_Bang!_

"_Honk!_"

Shifu's ears went flat and he rolled his eyes as he opened them.

"Really, why do I bother?" He stood up and turned to face the goose lying sprawled on the floor.

"For the love of kung fu, Zeng, why don't you take flying lessons?"

Zeng looked both soaked and irritable as he got up and straightened himself.

"My apologies, Master." He said. Water dripped on the floor, and Shifu made a mental note to add mopping it up amongst the punishments he would thrust upon Mantis upon his return.

"What's the report?" Shifu asked. "And stand up straight!"

Zeng quickly did as he was told.

"Master, Masters Monkey, Crane and Mantis reached the village on schedule. They were beginning the search when I left them."

"Did you relay the information we've learned?"

"I told them that General Tsin is the culprit, yes, sir."

"Good. With them joining Po and Tigress, we just might be able to locate the cargo before the deadline."

Zeng tapped the tips of his wings together.

"Um, about that..."

The sound of someone politely knocking on the archway cut him off. The sound was so soft he knew at once who it was.

"Come in, Su." He called, aware that she couldn't have possibly finished by now. Su entered, holding a crate more that half her size.

"Um, Master Shifu?" She spoke. "Please don't be mad..."

"What's the matter?"

"I've been tidying up the little boxes like you told me to, but there's a few things I don't know what to do with." Su pulled out a dusty bowl, looking slightly sick. "What should I do with this bowl of weird mush?"

"Mush?"

"It looks like dumpling sludge."

"Come here and let me see."

Su timidly approached and lowered the bowl so Shifu could see. It took him a moment to realize what it was before he gagged, snatched the bowl and handed it to Zeng.

"When we finish our conversation, I want you to dispose of this at once!"

"I don't want to know what this is, do I?" Zeng asked.

Shifu shook his head vigorously. He was going to eviscerate the Dragon Warrior. It was already bad enough when he used to chew with his mouth open...

"Su, what else are you concerned about?" He asked.

Su began rummaging in the box.

"Master, should I continue the report?" Zeng asked.

"Not yet, Zeng."

Su continued to search through the box.

"I also found this funny looking blue glass ball, some weird coins... and does anyone around here sew, 'cause I found what seems to be a Master Shifu shaped pincushion..."

"Excuse me, _excuse me_!" There was a slight explosion of feathers as Zeng freaked and ushered the girl out.

* * *

Bandaged foot propped on the table, the Dragon Warrior played gentle music from the little bamboo flute he'd found in a kitchen cupboard. Granted it wasn't the awesomely awesome set of glowing pipes that helped form the universe, but he was bored and he'd take what he could get. The sound was higher pitched that what came from Shifu's flute, but it was pretty, and drowned out the furious clatter of the endless rain outside.

_Not even the Jiang Shi would go out in this_, he thought as he played. _Thank gods for that._

The door behind him opened. Tigress must have finally found something dry and warm to wear.

"You getting pretty good at that, Po." He heard her say.

"Thanks, Tigress." Po mumbled, mouth still to the flute. Still playing, he turned his head. A long, high note screamed from the flute.

Tigress was wearing a rose red night gown with black trim and black vine patterns. A black belt was tight around her waist, making it seem smaller than it really was and giving her more obvious curves. There was a blush to her cheeks from her fever. She held a candle in one paw as she looked down on him with a small smile.

Po looked Tigress up and down, taking in her new outfit with wide eyes.

"Where the heck did you find that?" He breathed.

"In the basement." The lovely woman in red replied. "Who knows what that crazy goat was doing with this." Suddenly she blushed and her eyes narrowed. "Don't stare! It was all I could find!"

"Sorry!" Po looked away, but a second later he was gazing at her again, watching as she set down the candle and sat down next to him.

"Will this rain ever end?" She grumbled. "I hate this... sitting around doing nothing while our home is about to be shut down."

"Hey." Po hesitated before putting a paw on the beautiful woman's shoulder. The fabric of the gown was warm and silky. "Hey, it's gonna be okay." He said, even as he found that he couldn't take his paw away.

_Oh man, this is bad. If this goes too far, Shifu will kill me! Keep it together, Po! come on, rain, hurry up and stop!_


End file.
